If Today Was Your Last Day
by Carlisle'sCoven
Summary: SEQUAL TO BROKEN! I can't think of a summery that wouldn't give anything away so just trust me, this is good! R&R xD


**A/N: Okay so i know that i wasn't planning on writting a sequl to BROKEN but here it is, now it's just a one shot, so this is already complete. and i would advise other readers to read BROKEN first that way this makes a little more since...anywho, here ya go hope you like it!**

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><p>If Today Was Your Last Day<p>

"So do whatever it takes  
>'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life<br>Let nothin' stand in your way  
>Cause the hands of time are never on your side"<p>

It was inevitable; we were brought into this life within the walls of a hospital, and we more than likely left in one. In my lifetime, I had had my fair share of hospitals. Obviously the day I was born-not that I remembered that. Then there were the days when I was a patient; the gay teen who felt trapped and tried to kill himself. Perhaps the only good memory I had of hospitals was the day Sauli and I welcomed our daughter into the world. But the one visit to the dejected medical building I would always remember the most was the day that Tommy died. As if I already didn't have enough problems with hospitals, that day ruined them for me completely. It took everything in me to when my daughter was born- awful I know, thankfully Sauli was there by my side.

How many years had it been since the car accident that took Tommy from? Near forty I imagined. Although the number of years didn't matter, I would always have that day as a memory; how could I forget? It took time, but I moved on like he would have wanted, and followed my dreams. Against all odds, I fell in love, got married and started a family, because I knew Tommy wouldn't have wanted me to waste away thinking about the few short memories we had shared. Thinking back to that time and place, I realized that if Tommy's mother had moved on with her life, he would still be here and I wouldn't be laying on my death bed thinking about him.

Things were different this hospital visit. I wasn't here because my child was being born. I wasn't here because the love of my life was dying. No, this was for certain not one of those circumstances. This time I was here because I was dying. I hated that thought more than anything, but I couldn't deny the truth.

I could still remember the day the doctors diagnosed the horrendous disease three years ago. Sauli was in tears and I was in a dazed stooper. Reality never really hit me until the treatments started and my hair started falling out. We went to specialists, and different medical centers, none of whom could stop the cancer. I had set through hours upon hours of seemingly endless treatments all for nothing. Even after all the money and time spent, I was still going to die. The only enjoyable part was getting to pick out dozens of wigs; in every color imaginable. Since my fate was eminent, I needed to find something good out of all the bad.

Very shortly after learning what was to become of me, I embarked on a farewell tour with some of my best friends on the planet. They had been there for the first one, and they didn't hesitate to join me on this one. My fans were like family to me, in a strange i-don't-really-know-time kind of way. I refused to leave them without one final performance, just to show them how much they meant to me. That experience was the most heart wrenching, emotional thing an entertainer could put themself through. Each night I sat on the bus and cried after the show, with Sauli right there next to me. Sometimes he would cry with me, but I knew it wasn't because he would miss the rush of performing or the smiling fans. It was because he would miss me. I tried not to think about it, as if forgetting would somehow magically make it all disappear. I wanted to enjoy however many days I had left while I could.

Sauli was like my guardian angel.

God I would miss Sauli.

I loved him so deeply. After Tommy, I never thought I would find someone else, but I did. We just happened to meet by chance while I was touring overseas, and from then on, it was history. He helped my bleeding heart mend.

And then there was Kamila. I would miss her the most.

Never in my wildest dreams think I would ever be a father. Kamila was my life, and I only lived to please her. Now she was grown, and on her own as an accomplished artist. Sauli and I were so proud of her.

The hospital bed hadn't changed since I was a kid. They were still cold and stiff. The fragrant smell of flowers though, drowned out the uncomfortable bed. On every open surface was a bouquet of colorful flowers, sent from friends and family, even fans. The vast array of hues they brought to the dreary white walls made it more calming and less harsh. The vibrant blossoms brought a smile to my face on days that were less than perfect and I wished for a way to personally thank each and every sender.

I could hear the people around me, solemnly whispering and quietly weeping. If I had the strength to get up and smack them all, I would. I had made it clear to Sauli I didn't want a funeral. I absolutely hated funerals, possibly even more than I hated hospitals. I wanted people to be happy and celebrate the life I had lived instead of sitting in a obtusely lit room with strange smells, sitting and crying about me. Life was insanely too short to spend even one day in a surrounding like that.

Sauli was holding my hand; I knew it was him by the way his thumb lightly brushed back and forth across my skin. It wouldn't be long now, I could sense it. My breaths were becoming more difficult to take and my heart felt heavy. This was it.

"Sauli. . ." my voice sounded weak to my ears.

The hand holding mine gripped tighter, and I could feel his presence get closer.

"What is it love?" he murmured in his sweet finish accent.

"Ev-everyone is here aren't they?" I asked, attempting to open my eyes to see around the room.

"Yes," he answered. "all of us."

Someone else took my other hand, this one was thinner.

"Dad." My daughter's voice wept. "I love you."

"I- I love you to babe." I had to swallow the lump in the back of my throat in order to speak.

My vision allowed me to look at her beautiful face. Luckily, she managed to take on the surrogates' dark hair, but somehow ended up with my blue eyes and small freckles.

She pressed her warm pink lips to the back of my hand, and kissed the skin softly. Yes, I think I would miss her the most.

There were other familiar voices in the room; Monte was one of them, along with Isaac and Cam. They had been with Sauli and I every step of the way; I couldn't possibly thank them enough for all their love and optimism. Each one of them took turns uttering good byes and kind words, but it wouldn't be enough to keep the ravenous disease from stealing my life.

Cam sweetly kissed my forehead. "I don't think the world will be quite as glittery without Adam Lambert." A single tear fell from her eye and down her cheek.

I smiled, and chuckled a little. "Nah. . . there was glitter before I was here. . .it'll be here when I'm gone."

She shook her head a delicate smile on her lips. "It still won't be the same." Her voice trailed off, and she left the room; leaving Sauli and I alone.

I could see the water lining the rim of his glossy blue-green eyes. He just looked at me, a steady yet subtle trail of tears flowing from his eyes. Age may have changed our faces, but his eyes were still the same beautiful color they were thirty years ago.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered softly. Words were difficult for my weak body to produce, but I forced myself to speak.

"Just about you. . ." he uttered tenderly.

It was quiet a moment, the only sound came from my beeping heart monitor. That wretched sound. I hated it more than hospitals and funerals combined. There was no other noise that could make my skin crawl quite like that did.

". . . about us. . ." he added idly.

"What about us?" I asked.

I hoped if I distracted him with light conversation it would keep his tears at bay. If he started crying any harder, I would start. That was just how it went with us.

"Everything." He told me.

"That's a-a lot to think . . . about." I said attempting a smile.

Sauli's lips curled into a frail looking smirk; so fragile, the slightest wave of negative energy would turn it to a frown.

"What day sticks . . . out the most?" I asked truly curious.

His sparkling eyes gazed out the window, looking far into the distance. His mind was off in a memory, lost somewhere in the trace of times long passed; then slowly his face moved back to gaze at mine. He was smiling again, this time it touched his cheeks.

"Does it matter?" he asked. "I wouldn't trade a day with you for any other. Everyday we're together is the most important.

I wished now more than ever that I had enough strength to wrap my arms around him, and comfort his aching heart. I knew that smile was only for my benefit, had it not been form me, he would have broken down. I had so much empathy for him. It was the worst feeling imaginable to witness the one you love slowly disappear without having any ability to help them.

"Sauli," I uttered weakly. "Never forget how much I love you. Okay?"

Another tear slid down his face as he nodded. "Of course."

The rest of the night was spent the way I wanted it to be spent; just me and him. Despite the grim circumstances, the night would always be one of my favorites. We spent the early hours of the morning talking as much as I could manage, and just being with each other was enough. I would always remember the warmth of his hand in mine, and the glossiness of his beautiful eyes. Somehow that moment was imperfectly perfect. We shared old memories, laughing at some and crying at others. Time seemed to stand still.

But in reality it was ticking away, and our conversation grew thin as it became more laborious for me to contribute. Was it possible for a dying person to anticipate when they would finally cease to exist? Whatever the answer, I knew; but I wasn't afraid. I lived my life to the fullest and didn't regret anything. My stupid mistakes taught me valuable lessons, and those lessons helped me become the person I became. My life had been full of ups and downs, which aided to the inspiration to my music.

"I- I'm going to sleep." I whispered.

Sauli knew what I was thinking.

"I love you." I told him.

A soft smile graced his lips, and he kissed my cheek. "Love you too." He paused and looked deeply into my feeble eyes, gently stoking my face with his fingers. "Sleep peacefully." he added.

When I closed my eyes all I could hear was the slowing sound of the heart monitor until it gradually transformed into one long alarm sound that eventually faded out. There was no feeling, and no sound, just darkness, but it wasn't how I thought it would be. Instead of cold and empty, I felt warm and filled. I was floating weightlessly through an unknowing vastness, on a path that I couldn't see; and yet I wasn't scared. An alluring sense of tranquility encompassed my body until it stopped.

I waited a long time just to see if the floating sensation would return, but it never came. Feeling started returning, and my body felt immensly different than it did before. Beneith me I felt crisp, clean sheets on a soft bed. Under my head was the light fluff of a pillow. Somewhere a breeze was blowing the hairs around my face, and the warmth of the sun danced across my skin. I opened my eyes expecting my hospital room, but what my eyes saw was different.

The room was oddly familiar. For a while I couldn't place it, until it struck me. This was my room from when I was a teenager. There were no posters on the blank walls like there used to be. All of my things were gone, leaving just the bed in the empty sound returned, my precise hearing detected a sound that was somewhat recognizable.

I got up off the soft mattress, my toes digging into the soft carpet on the floor. My body felt so rejuvenated and strong I had almost forgotten what strength felt like. I looked around the room shortly, and then my eyes landed on my exit- where the music was coming from. The door to my old bed room was still in the same spot, but it lacked the posters from when I was younger.

Delicately, my fingers twisted the brass knob. When I opened the door the sound got louder, and I recognized the intricate cords of a bass guitar. My feet took me faster down the lengthy, blank corridor until I came to the stone steps that lead to the foyer. Oddly, when I stepped on them, they were neither cold or hot, but exactly the right temperature.

The music got louder as I walked through the empty house until I came across a skinny blond haired boy with an asymmetrical hair cut and black and gray stripped hoodie. My eye gazed at him, and the living room I remember that used to be plentiful with family pictures and intricate decorations.

"It's not so different." The boys' voice said as his painted fingernails continued to play the melody.

Time was funny. As it passed, you forgot certain little things. Like the lyrics to your favorite song when you were a kid, or how many times you had seen a specific movie. Even the memories of places you had been seemed to slip from your ageing mind. But somehow, that voice I remembered. All at once I was over taken with a strange type of emotion. I was happy, sad, excited, and overwhelmed at the same time. How many years had it been since that cute, somewhat nasally tone brought life to my ears?

My voice was stronger when I spoke, no longer plagued by my illness. "Tommy?"

The boy stopped playing, and turned my way with a playful smirk on his perfect lips, while his warm chocolate brown eyes gazed at me, and I at them.

My minded was too completely flustered to comprehend what exactly was happening.

"I don't understand." I said breathlessly, still in shock. "I thought I-"

"You did." Tommy said, still with the smirk on his lips.

He removed the guitar strap from around his neck and stood facing me. He was even more beautiful than my weak mind could have remembered.

"I've been waiting so long for this moment." he murmured, stepping closer to me. His soft, yet slightly calloused fingers brushed away a tear I hadn't realize was falling.

A lifetime ago I promised Tommy I would never leave him. Sauli meant everything to me, but since that November day when Tommy's heart stopped I had never stopped loving him. There was never a day that went by when I didn't think of him, and now we were together again. Both healthy, and completely free.

"Me too." I whispered, pressing my forehead to his.

His lavish sent filled me as we looked into each other's eyes as if for the first time. The smile that lit his face warmed my soul.

Everything felt like it was the first time again. The first time we looked at each other, the first time my fingers touched his soft skin, and the first time my lips molded to his.

"I knew you would never leave me." Tommy grinned when his mouth pulled away from mine slightly.

"I love you." I choked out before taking his lips in mine again, tasting their bitter sweetness.

Time stopped; and for the first time in almost half a century, my broken heart was finally at rest.

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><p><strong>AN: . . .i hope that didn't make y'all cry again, in away this is a happy ending, and you can all thank my twitter buddie Glamber5O85 cuz she came up with the idea and i loved writting this. xD so send her a shout out on Twitter if ya got one, follow her even, she is awesome! xDD any who leave me a review and tell me whatcha thought! **

****also my prequal should be posted sometime this week, so keep checking for it, and that one will be a multi chapter so that means MORE DISCLAIMERS! lol i love you guys! **

**~Jackie/Glampire92**


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